Wednesday, December 19, 2007

My dark destiny awaits

My Shadow Stealthship was ready for take off. I was almost ready to leave this primitive, backwards planet but I had just a few more tasks to attend to. My dread lord Galactor the Evil Galactic Overlord has already contacted me to congratulate me on winning Who Wants to be a Supervillain. He also gave me another task to attend to since I am here: destroy his mortal enemy Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator. Something I admit that I attempted earlier but so far have been unable to complete. That man is harder to kill than a Hectarian armored armadillo slug.

“So that’s it?” Iron Butterfly asked. “You’re leaving?”

“Of course, Iron Butterfly. I have other matters to attend to.”

“Yeah, but what about us, mate?” Apocalypto Pickle asked. “You just going to kick us to the curb? We signed a contract with you, you know.”

“Who cares, let him go. He doesn’t care about anyone but himself,” Gun Nut added with a disappointed sneer.”

“Ah, but that is where you are wrong, my dear. During every step of this competition, I made sure that you all were taken care of.”

“Really,” Butterfly grunted.

“Really?” Bob the Goon asked.

“Iron Butterfly, you are a strong and powerful man with a lot of ambition but no real resources to back up your desires. The stronghold in Sierra Gordo is yours. From there you could easily launch an attack on the capital of that pitiful country and rule it as your own. Rule it wisely and evilly.”

“Wow, thanks,” he grinned. Obviously surprised by what I have bestowed him.

“Apocalypto Pickle, you are a cunning and capable demolitions expert but you have been angry and confused about your sexuality your whole life. By introducing you to Magneto and his Village Henchpeople, I have shown you that you can be accepted and welcomed despite your physical appearance and orientation.”

“You’re right,” he nodded. “Thanks. Hey, can I also have the giant robot with the blue jeans in his torso? Those are nice jeans.”

“Very well, you may have that as well.”


“Bob the Goon, I took over Halliburton for you.”

“You want me to run that company?” he asked.

“Not the company, but the fleet of vehicles that it owns. You will be in charge of the Halliburton’s motor depot.”

“Cool,” he smiled. “Is there an oil drum there that I can burn stuff in?”

“Of course.”

“An’ is there shrimp there for me t’ eat?”

“All the shrimp you could ever want.”

“Oh man, that’s swell,” he beamed. “Thanks, doc.”

“What about me?” Gun Nut harrumphed, still angry about my perceived transgression about the holiday.

“Gun Nut, I have given you perhaps the greatest gift of all. You were already and cold and calculating assassin, something I must admit that I find extremely appealing, but you lacked one factor. There was one thing that kept you from achieving your potential.”

“What was that?” she asked snidely.

“You don’t care about anything. Since you were young, you harnessed your anger in your life’s work, but you actually had little passion in it. You didn’t love yourself and you certainly didn’t feel that any man deserved your love. I showed you that you do have feelings, that you can care for your work or a man.”

“Really? You did that for me?” I saw the angry features on her face soften.

“Of course. With what you have now, nothing shall stand in your way.” I slid my brain containment jar towards my ship and rolled up the ramp. “You all have been instrumental in my victory here and I appreciate your help. Good luck to you all.”

“Wait!” Gun Nut called out. “Take me with you.”

“It is dangerous work. Your life will always be in peril if you seek to serve my master Galactor the Evil Galactic Overlord.”

“I don’t care,” she answered. “I want to be with you.”

“Very well, I would… love to have you join me.”

Gun Nut gave an unusual squeal and ran up the ramp. She threw her arms around my containment vessel and gave it a kiss. “I guess this would be a little bit more romantic if you could kiss me back.”

“Yes, I suppose.”

“But I don’t care,” she shook her head and smiled.

“Gun Nut, what am I to call you on our journeys? Your moniker is suitable for a one dimensional character who exists only to shoot others, but you are more. So much more.”

“Call me Lilith,” she answered.

“Lilith? I do like that name.”

The ramp slid closed as the ship’s door also clanged shut. My craft then lifted off the ground, hovered for just a few moments before rocketing into the sky carrying me and my companion towards our destiny.


captain koma said...

Gee this happened rather fast.

You've even got the certificate already on too.

I wonder if I'm being played or not.

A Army Of (Cl)One said...

No way,. you get the prize and the girl!!!! all I got was to clean up a harbor filled with 7 weeks of trash.

November Rain said...

congrats on your win