Monday, March 17, 2008

Seven Things Meme

That fool Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator tagged me with this Seven Things Meme. I suppose it’s my penance for letting him beat up on my girlfriend and stunt brain back at that warehouse. Very well, I am game as I am always up for letting people know a little bit about me. You’re probably just as interested in hearing it as I am of telling it, I’d wager.
Firstly though, I must mention the rules:

List seven random things about yourself that people may not know.

Link the person who sent this to you, and leave a comment on their blog so that their readers can visit yours.

Post the rules on your blog.

Tag 7 random people at the end of your post, linking their blog.

Let each person know that they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

1. I was not born evil. You may be surprised to hear that as I am quite the evil entity now. No, I was husked from my mother’s womb just a regular denizen of this great galactic community much like you or anyone else.

2. I am now just a brain floating within a nutrient-rich jar but I once had a very decent body. Of course my brain was exceptionally developed, but my body was not so bad either. I was never the greatest athlete, but I was always picked in neighborhood slurveball contests before Lenny OneArm and that one kid with the gel-filled spine.

3. Perhaps my first foray into my darker side came in medical school. I was always neck and neck with another student for first in class. Our grades were always ever so close until I devised a way to bathe his living quarters with ultrasonic waves that were undetectable yet interrupted his sleep cycles enough so that his grades slipped. Did I feel guilty? I did a bit until I concluded that if he should deserve the top honors then he should have thought of a similar method to guarantee them.

4. After several yearons (roughly equivalent to your Earth year) of being the galaxy’s greatest psychiatrist, I grew bored with hearing the trivial problems of the undeservedly famous and idle rich. I then began devising subtle experiments that affected their behavior patterns. Many of these people were near crazy to begin with; my experiments took them over the proverbial edge.

5. I grew bolder with my malevolent research over the yearons and eventually was discovered, the Intergalactic Psychiatry Association quickly stripped me of all my licenses and honors and locked me away. I did not even experience a fair trial, just a media-filled circus and an attorney who quickly caved to the pressures directed against me.

6. Galactor the Evil Galactic Overlord learned of my abilities and sent his agents to free me from my prison. I have served him faithfully since, though incessant contact with this evilness so pure decayed my body over time. I cloned myself several times to maintain my existence, but you know how unreliable cloning is. It soon became apparent that keeping my superior brain in a nutrient-rich jar was the only way to go.

7. I had never dreamed that I would ever have a girlfriend until I met Lilith. Lilith, had I a heart, it would be yours forever.

I must now tag seven random people. Very well, I tag The Colossal Rngernghk, Freddy N'Zaumnthchl, Duke Starkiller, Vlyxor, Valla IX, and Superboy Prime.