Tuesday, April 29, 2008

In Search of my Prize

“Are you sure this is going to work?” Lilith asked me. She was dressed as a scientist and quite stunning I might add.

“Of course. My plan will not go wrong, my dear.”

“But to brazenly walk up into Xavier’s headquarters and attack him?” she questioned. “We’re asking to have a whole mess of X-Men come down on us.”

“Of course they will be worried about the Professor, but by the time anyone can act, we will be long gone.”

“But they’ll cross they Earth to get the Professor back,” she added.

“Of course they will. But all we’re here for is his brain. Now quickly, ring the doorbell of this infernal place.”

Lilith complied and the door was shortly answered by a grossly undershowered and unshaven man.

“Can I help you?” he asked before letting loose one of the vilest, foul smelling burps I have ever witnessed. I am certainly glad that I can turn off my olfactory sensors easily, which makes me all the more sorry for my companion Lilith.

“Yes, I am from the, uh, International Brain and Science Institute,” Lilith said. “I am here with a delivery for Professor Zavier.”

“Here for the Prof, huh?” the sensory-assaulting beast grunted. “Follow me.”

The creature led us to a nearby study and grumbled something about “fetching Chuck.” We were shortly in the room by ourselves.

“That was Wolverine,” Lilith said while still wiping the foul stench away from her nose. “He’s got metal claws and heightened senses.”

“He has heightened senses and yet he cannot smell his own foul stench?”

My companion shrugged at the comment then laughed. The door quickly flew open and a man in a wheelchair rolled in.

“Who are you, young lady?” he asked irritably. “I was not expecting anyone from the International Brain and Science Institute.”

“Please allow me to introduce myself, I am Dr. Nemonok, the galaxy’s greatest evil psychiatrist.”

“A talking brain in a jar?” Xavier gasped. “Why you must be that creature that Magneto was talking about.”

“Of course, that is I, and this is my trusted companion Lilith.”

“But you can call me the Gun Nut,” she growled.

“Your companion?” Xavier’s brow furrowed. “You two aren’t in a relationship are you? The mere thought boggles my mind.”

“I have something else for your mind as well. Quick Lilith, the Neural Neutralizer!”

Before the vaunted professor could react, Lilith fired the energy weapon at his head. He was quickly immobilized by its effects allowing my special lady and me the opportunity to operate. A few minutes later we were out the door and making our way to my Shadow Stealthship with our prize – Professor Xavier’s brain in a jar!