Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Chunkstyle, Experiment #1

Hah, now I have procured this fantastically-powered cat from that queer scoundrel, and believe me it wasn’t easy. He kept asking for payments in “space-cheddah” and all I had were space bucks, as they are the normal monetary unit for the quadrant of the galaxy. With a conversion rate finally settled on (and he was quite resistant to my manipulative abilities, what does that man have in his brain?), I was the proud new owner of Chunkstyle.

And as a bonus, I got a nice little "button" device to add to this Interweblog. I am not sure what it is a button of, as it does not activate any death beams or hypno-rays. Nonetheless, it now sits where it should.

Now, to get down to business – the business of destroying Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator. I have procured a practice dummy for my cat to attack. The creature should easily transfer its attack skills from this to Jon because he is a dummy as well. Ah, that’s just a little psychiatrist humor for you.

Possibly the easiest way to train this creature would be with the reward system. I have purchased some space cat food with hairball control because as anyone knows, hairballs and delicate spaceship instruments do not mix. I will teach this beast commands and reward it with food based on its performance.

Chunkstyle, attack!

Hmmm. This did not seem to work; perhaps I need to start a simpler.

Chunkstyle, come.

Well, the thing is just lying there like that. Very well, I shall try an even simpler command.

Chunkstyle, sit.

Obviously, the creature is intelligent, I can tell by the way it is looking at me that it is at least as smart as an Helgnarian salt bat, I and have trained plenty of those.

This may take a while.


Nepharia said...

You obviously have a way with animals.

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Unfortunately, good doctor, you've been infected.